SUMMARY:  Peter Fluet, a simple man from Hobo Slot, Missouri, was raised by his violent stepfather, Cleatus; his true love, Jamie, promises to always help him, no matter what the cost to herself. Peter sets out for Hollywood and, upon arrival, cold-calls Hollywood blockbuster action director Michael Bay... who immediately invites Peter to his home. Upon arrival, he meets gorgeous Hollywood blonde Desireee (three "e"s), who can't be bothered to speak to him. He also finds that during his bus ride to Hollywood, Jamie, to support him, has beat him there and secured a job as Michael Bay's assistant. The excitable Michael Bay enthuses about Peter between multiple barrel rolls, and declares him to be the next big thing. This catches Desireee's ear, and she inserts herself between Peter and Jamie, inviting him to her bedroom to get to know him better while Jamie fumes. Meanwhile, back in Hobo Slot, Cletus reads in Variety that Peter's about to make it big and fumes with jealousy.

Photos by Victor Isaac

SUMMARY:  Peter dreams of Jamie and Desireee, each calling to him. As Michael Bay prepares Peter to hit the big time, Cleatus calls and tells Peter that he's going to destroy him.

SUMMARY:  Peter pitches a film of his life story to a Hollywood Executive, who is sold on funding the film when Michael Bay vouches for Peter. Peter also goes on his first date with Desireee, while Jamie warns him not to let Hollywood change him. Peter then goes into his first ever script session with Michael, telling him his life story - how his parents tragically died when they fell out of a plane and were then hit in mid-air by another plane. He is absolutely clueless as to why his uncle Cleatus, who raised him, hated him so much, so Cleatus has to clue us in: Cleatus was the alcoholic twin brother of Peter's father and was in love with Peter's mother, so Peter's mere existence was a constant painful reminder of the love he never had. Even without this dramatic subtext, Michael Bay is sold on Peter's story as the stuff of movie greatness, and casts Ryan Gosling as Peter... and the Hollywood star immediately distracts Desireee's attention away from the real Peter.

Photos by Victor Isaac

SUMMARY:  Ryan Gosling is driving Peter nuts by repeating everything Peter does in an attempt to get into character. Peter is also frustrated that neither Desireee or Jamie is paying any attention to him now that the mega-star is around. And he's even more astonished to find that Ryan, in an attempt to understand Peter's past, contacted Cleatus, and learned his history - and sympathizes with him. And while Ryan was at it, he gave Cleatus Peter's phone number and address.  Cleatus is coming to destroy him...

SUMMARY:  Cleatus hitches a ride to Los Angeles with Sherry and Larry, a ridiculously perky couple who keep singing show tunes... until Cleatus scares them by angrily ranting about how he's going to destroy Peter. However, he does interject that he sure does love Ryan Gosling. Meanwhile, Peter, still frustrated that nobody's paying attention to him now that Ryan Gosling is around, runs into a mysterious cloaked figure hiding in a remote wing of Michael Bay's mansion. It's Bradley Cooper, and he hates Ryan Gosling, too - and asks Peter to help him murder the attention-grabbing star.

SUMMARY: Bradley Cooper gives Peter a totem that causes bad luck. Peter isn't sure whether he's losing his mind; was Bradley Cooper really there? But when the seemingly indestructible Michael Bay trips over the totem and injures himself gravely - either dead or in a temporary coma - Peter's convinced.

SUMMARY: Cleatus, still traveling with Sherry and Larry, proclaims that he'll never love again, but then instantly falls in love with Becki, a rude waitress at a truck stop. But his happiness is short-lived as Sherry and Larry - not so saccharine sweet after all - hold up the diner, Pulp Fiction-style, and Becki is killed in the crossfire, and Cleatus is now in fear of his ride. Meanwhile, with Michael Bay still in a coma, Peter meets "Bay B," Michael Bay's stand-in, who gives Peter the idea to revive the director with the power of music. However, not only doesn't it work... but Michael Bay flatlines.

SUMMARY: Peter has finally started to notice Jamie, but Jamie is now enamored with Ryan Gosling. Michael Bay is still in a coma, barely hanging on - and his spirit appears, and tries to inspire Peter. Bradley Cooper, who is in disguise as Michael Bay's doctor, tells Peter there's only one hope to save the director: shrink down and enter Michael Bay's psyche. Peter is hesitant, but when he learns that it may be the only way to win Jamie's love away from Ryan Gosling... he's still hesitant, to Jamie volunteers. However, Michael Bay's spirit says he could never have his head occupied with a woman... so Peter will have to be the one. Meanwhile, Cleatus, now a virtual prisoner of the chipper but murderous Sherry and Larry, is horrified when they pick up Bea, a young hitchhiker who they intend to kill via a lack of seatbelt and reckless driving.

SUMMARY: Inside the psyche of Michael Bay, Peter finds the director is perfectly happy in his fantasy world where Jamie and Desireee are Transformers and a Ninja Turtle, Will Smith wants to do his films, and the women don't talk. But Peter finally convinces him to wake up and return to the real world when he tells him that the studio is thinking of replacing him with Zack Snyder.

SUMMARY: With Michael Bay returned to consciousness, it's finally time to start making the movie of Peter's life story. However, the executive who originally greenlit the film arrives to tell them while the director was in a coma, he racked up a lot of medical bills - plus his many debts from illicit activities came due. And his accountant is Megan Fox, who isn't good with numbers. So he's been completely wiped out. The movie is cancelled, and everybody but Peter abandons Michael Bay as movers come and take all his possessions. Peter tries to inspire Michael Bay to keep going, but instead, the director collapses to the ground; his will to make terrible movies is gone, and it's going to be up to Peter to save the day.

SUMMARY: Peter, Jamie and Desireee find a dispirited Michael Bay working at McDonald's, in thrall to Evans, a teenage manager who regularly humiliates him. When Desireee learns that James Cameron bought Michael Bay's home, she takes off to go seek new employment. Peter tells Michael Bay he has a directing job for him, but the former director is too dispirited to take any interested. However, he is finally pushed too far when Evans demands he wear his precious hair in a hair net; he tears it up, quits, and, with renewed vigor, asks Peter what this new directing project is. Peter declares that it's in the lucrative field of 99-seat theater... and Michael Bay, dispirited again, rushes off to beg Evans for his job back. Meanwhile, Cleatus, Sherry and Larry finally arrive at Michael Bay's former home in Los Angeles. Cleatus, disturbed by all he's seen, just wants to go home; taking revenge on Peter is no longer important to him. And he once again declares that he'll never love again - just before laying eyes on Desireee and immediately falling in love. However, Sherry and Larry, upon learning that Desireee is Michael Bay's number two, and having no idea of the director's recent misfortunes, decide to kidnap her.