SUMMARY: In London, ne'er-do-well criminal Simon and his partner Mickey end up in a passel of trouble when they arrive to meet with Lester One-Eye and find him dead, along with the hoodlums who attacked him, Grundy and Black Mike. Among the carnage is a bag with three kilos of Charlie, which Lester had stolen from crime boss Elmer Fudge. Mickey convinces Simon that they should steal the drugs, but when Elmer's goons Ian and Kevin find the bodies, they assume Simon is responsible - and Elmer now has it in for him, sending Ian and Kevin in pursuit of him to get the Charlie back. And, unbeknownst to him, he's gotten his girlfriend Gabby pregnant, and her enraged father is gunning for him as well. Even the weapons Simon buys from hiccup-prone arms dealer Winston may not be enough to get him out of this jam. And in all the running about, will he ever have time to take a slash?

Photos by Mandi Moss

SUMMARY: Elmer Fudge hires Jenkins, a scary brute who knows how to track people down, to find Simon and Mickey. Meanwhile, Simon and Mickey don't have any money to buy a gun from Winston, so he asks them to do him a favor: get the key to his safe out from inside the dog who ate it. With a chainsaw. Elmer Fudge makes a connection with Jenkins' current girlfriend, Marla, and the two plan to steal his rare coin collection and split the proceeds. Kevin and Ian interrogate Gabby and Petula as to Simon's whereabouts (and Ian flirts with Petula); they don't know where he is, but Petula offers to come with them - and Gabby's rageful dad - to help point him out. Jenkins arrives at Winston's place and there is a standoff between the two while Simon and Mickey are in the back with the dog; when the standoff is interrupted by the arrival of two Mormon missionaries, Winston escapes, and Jenkins kills the missionaries as he gives chase. As Gabby realizes that Kevin and Ian mean to kill Simon, her dad decides to keep an eye on them; he wants Simon alive to help raise and support the child Gabby's pregnant with. And when Simon and Mickey, who couldn't go through with the dog surgery, return to Winston's living room and find the dead missionaries, Mickey says he knows a guy at the tracks who knows all about dogs and might also be able to help them unload the Charlie. Simon is dubious - every time Mickey says he knows a guy, things get more dodgy for him - but what other choice do they have?