SUMMARY: Co-hosts Clark Dearborn and Madison Monroe-Adams welcome us back to another episode of the hit reality TV dating show Invitation to Love, an unlikely cross between The Bachelor and American Idol in which “Love Guests” participate in a series of talent competitions as they vie for the love of bisexual “Love Host” Trevor Ashland. After bidding adieu to Love Guest Rhonda, who regrettably told Trevor he reminded her of her pet pig, we launch into tonight’s singing competition. Quirky performance artist Kyle massacres Kate Bush’s “Wuthering Heights,” but Trevor gives him points for originality. Hot personal trainer Chaz sails through by taking his shirt off as he lipsyncs Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy,” much to Kyle’s chagrin. Meanwhile, at the local precinct, Officer Callahan believes he has what it takes to be the next Love Host, but his superior Sergeant Polk quickly “dream-shames” him of that notion... while back on set, Madison sends her put-upon assistant Andrew on a quest for heart-shaped boba. Finally, sunny Southern Mary Kay rep Betty Lou smiles her way through Bette Midler’s “The Rose,” causing Clark to snap that he hates that song so much that anyone who sings it should have a razor taken to them. Back in her dressing room, Betty Lou is alarmed to find herself facing a razor-wielding intruder, and Andrew later finds her lying in a pool of blood…

Photos by Aaron Francis

SUMMARY: Sergeant Polk and Officer Callahan hit the Invitation to Love set to investigate Betty Lou’s murder by razor blade. Officer Callahan is especially interested in whether the killing caused a to-do, kerfuffle, or hubbub, much to Sergeant Polk’s exasperation. Madison barely conceals her glee as she reminds Clark in front of the police that he said that anyone who performed “The Rose” should have a razor to him, and Clark is dragged away for questioning. The show must go on, though, and this week’s theme is Drama Week, in which the Love Guests must perform monologues. Vain pharmaceutical sales rep Krystle tackles Linda Loman from Death of A Salesman by purring “Attention must be paid” into a mirror. Kyle performs an original piece about the perils of obsession with social media and fame entitled “The Night I Punched Justin Bieber In The Dick”. Chaz sails through by taking off his shirt and recreating the volleyball scene from Top Gun, much to Kyle’s chagrin. And poor accounting assistant Elaine is swiftly eliminated when she unknowingly chooses one of the most overdone monologues of all time—Jane’s Peter Pan monologue from Durang’s ‘dentity Crisis. Meanwhile, Madison decides that now that she’s sole host, Andrew should refer to her as “Your Majesty”. After the show, the killer strikes again, and Andrew is floored to find Chaz lying in a Pool O’ Blood...

Photos by Aaron Francis

SUMMARY: A broadcast of It’s Nuclear Winter, Charlie Brown is interrupted for a Firsthand News special report examining the recent murders plaguing the reality show Invitation to Love. Investigative reporter Barry Wellington takes us through the premise of the show and reintroduces us to the key players. We revisit the circumstances of the first murder, how an arrest came to be made, and how a second murder occurred... even with the suspect safely behind bars! The question remains… whodunit? And why? Anything is possible - a secret vendetta? A covert hired assassin? Was someone driven mad with power? Could the police be in on it? And can we even be sure the murder victims are really dead? Finally, Barry warns that a new Love Guest is about to join the show… and their identity is going to be a real shocker!

Photos by Jenelle Riley

SUMMARY: Officer Callahan, deeply offended that a jailed Clark doesn’t know the difference between an attorney and a lawyer, denies him the opportunity to call either. Meanwhile, Madison has a new task for Andrew: as blue isn’t her color, change the sky to a nice shade of magenta. As the latest episode of Invitation to Love starts, Kyle and Trevor have a discussion about their feelings that Madison assures us is completely uncoached, yet suspiciously revolves around new and improved Pepsi products. In a surprise twist, the newest Love Guest is the late Chaz’s identical twin brother, yoga instructor Zach — much to Kyle’s chagrin. In light of the recent tragedies, elimination is suspended for this round to give the Love Guests a chance to bond and heal by playing parlor games. When Kyle imitates Carrie during the Imitation Game, he is promptly arrested by Callahan, who reasons that imitating a “serial killer” is something a killer would do. Back at the police station, Sergeant Polk, reaching his limit with Callahan, grants Clark his phone call. And when Andrew finds a dead Madison lying in a pool of blood after the show, he snaps that he is now singlehandedly putting his therapist’s kids through college…

Photos by Jenelle Riley