SUMMARY: Jane Austen, wanting to get in on the recent trend for mash-ups, shares with us her newest novel, Emma Frankenstein. We meet the three young Woodhouse sisters - Jane, the pretty one; Emma, the smart one (and, at 17, the eldest); and Harriet, the lesbian one. Nice Mr. Knightley, who Emma has known all her life, wants to marry her, but Emma wants to hold out for true love - for a real man who can ignite her passions. Knightley informs the sisters that a Dr. Frankenstein - now known as Dr. Frankenberry in the "new country" - has moved to town, and has a wealthy son. They meet the good doctor at a ball, where Frankenberry measures everybody's heads while denying any knowledge of the stories of grave-robbing and brain-stealing in the town he came from (Ipswich). Suddenly, his son, Frank, comes barreling through the room, screaming and knocking people over with brute force. When Emma and Frank meet, there is a moment of connection - just before he knocks her to the ground too and rampages off. Emma is taken; this, at last, is a real man.

SUMMARY: Jane Austen lets us know she doesn't mind that her books keep getting adapted and reinvented for the movies, because it has made her very rich. Back in the story, Emma despairs of making Frank into a proper gentleman so they can marry, so Mama throws a ball to make an attempt. The insistent Mr. Knightley inadvertently gives Emma a crazy idea when she wishes that his brain could be put into Frank's body. But of course, that idea is nonsense, isn't it? At the ball, Frank stuns Emma when hearing some opera causes him to begin singing in a beautiful, operatic voice. However, the moment is broken when a cake is brought out and Frank goes into a rampage at the sight of the blazing candles.

Photos by Brendan Broms

SUMMARY: Jane Austen is annoyed by the presence of Mary Shelley, who has arrived to make sure her masterpiece is not degraded by Austen's writing. The two fight over the worth of their literary careers, and Mary needles Jane over the fact that she was never married. In telling the story, Jane and Mary fight over the portrayal of Frank, who Mary wants to make more eloquent, but fortunately for Jane, Frank's bestial ways have already been established. Emma despairs over Frank ever expressing his love for her, but when she says that all men leave her, Frank manages to get out a "Not all men." Later, Dr. Frankenberry says that Frank will be proposing to somebody that night... but Emma is devastated when Frank proposes to youngest and prettiest sister Jane.

Photos by Aaron Francis

SUMMARY: Emma?s heart breaks over Frank?s proposal to Jane, and Frank tells her, "It's not you... it's me"... the very same line she uses on Mr. Knightley to fend off his advances. Dr. Frankenberry introduces his new assistant, Igor ? a woman who Harriet immediately falls for. Are all the sisters to find love except for Emma?

Photos by Jenelle Riley

SUMMARY: Mary Shelley's lawyers have earned her the right to compensation from Jane Austen for appropriating her characters, and she takes Jane's tiara. In the story, Jane is distressed to learn that Frank loves her not for her brains, but for her body. Mama is briefly willing to consider letter Jane marry whoever she wants, while she opposes Harriet's newfound love with the female Igor... but when she learns that Dr. Frankenberry's vast fortune will be split between Frank and Igor upon his death, she gives the blessing for both relationships. Emma, left alone, is about to settle and accept Mr. Knightley's advances... but just at that moment, a handsome and libertine stranger, Mr. Church, arrives, and immediately wins Emma's attentions. Outside the story, Mary Shelley requires Jane Austen to pay up once more - this time by taking Mr. Fitzwhickham from her.

Photos by Jenelle Riley

SUMMARY: Everybody seems to have found love except for the forlorn Mr. Knightley, who peevishly points out the deficiencies in everybody's relationship, and insults the women for not dating a "nice guy" like him. This earns him a beating from Frank - which briefly recaptures Emma's interest from Mr. Church. Soon after, Dr. Frankenberry declaims to a rapturous Igor and an uncomprehending Frank that his evil scheme is going exactly to plan...

Photos by Jenelle Riley

SUMMARY: Jane Austen is now destitute thanks to Mary Shelley, but she continues her story: all of the Woodhouse women have found love... including Mama, who has a burgeoning flirtation with Dr. Frankenberry. Mr. Knightley arrives to apologize for his behavior last week, but when Mr. Church reveals himself as a terrible sexist, Mr. Knightley defends Emma's honor, winning her respect. Meanwhile, Dr. Frankenberry's newfound feelings for Mama make him doubt his evil plan: to gain the Woodhouse fortune via the various marriages, and then kill the Woodhouse girls and use their brains for his experiments. However, Igor - who is only feigning her love for Harriet - points out that Frank's brain is deteriorating; they must press on and get Frank a new brain or he'll die. And Igor finds herself attracted to the caddish Mr. Church. The story is interrupted by an apologetic Mary Shelley, who has realized she shouldn't be cattily fighting with Jane Austen, but supporting her against the patriarchy. And Jane is moved to tears to learn that Mary considers "Sense and Sensibility" a masterpiece, even though she hates romcoms. The two forge a truce.

Photos by Jenelle Riley

SUMMARY: Jane Austen and Mary Shelley are now friends, and Mary (somewhat reluctantly) returns Jane's jewels to her. They narrate the conclusion of the story together. Emma considers marrying Mr. Knightley, while Mama frets that Dr. Frankenberry won't make a move on her. Jane is increasingly distressed about her impending marriage to Frank, who only wants her for her beauty. Harriet is heartbroken at Igor's treachery. Dr. Frankenberry admits Frank's true nature to the Woodhouses. He says that had always wanted children, but when he spent his life alone and childless, he turned to evil. Mama forgives him, but he must run before the mob arrives. Meanwhile, Jane gives Mama a makeover. Mr. Knightley earns Emma's respect; Mr. Church nearly charms her all over again, leading Knightley to leave, heartbroken, but Emma breaks away from Mr. Church, saying she needs more than charm. She searches for Mr. Knightley by horse - while Mr. Knightley finds a weak and dying Frank, who desperately needs a new brain, and takes him to Frankenberry's lab. Mama arrives at the lab, and her "Bride of Frankenberry" makeover attracts the Doctor over Igor's protests. Emma arrives, declaring her love for Mr. Knightley, and Igor, blaming her for ruining everything, draws a pistol on her - but Mr. Knightley jumps between them and takes the bullet for Emma. Frank hits his head attempting to rescue Knightley and becomes briefly eloquent. As Knightley lies there dying, Dr. Frankenberry switches his brain with Frank's. Frank (with Mr. Knightley's brain) and Emma declare their love, as do Mama and Dr. Frankenberry. And Jane announces she's found somebody loyal to be with who isn't interested in her looks: Mr. Wilberforce. Who is a dog. Only Harriet is left alone and bereft... until she learns that she's earned a scholarship to a writing workshop in the United States with Gertrude Stein. As the story concludes, Mary returns the one final thing to Jane Austen she had taken away: Mr. Fitzwickham. Grateful, Jane says she no longer needs a servant... but she does need a partner. And Mr. Fitzwickham is glad to oblige.

Photos by Leon Russom