Jenna
Fischer of The Office also met Mystere, but we
don't have a cool story
about that... other than
"Jenna Fischer of The Office
met Mystere!" Which is pretty
cool on its own merits, really.
Episode Details!
Cami Shirley and Greg Shirley (Franci Montgomery & Scott
Leggett)
know Mystere will "Shirley" have a good time having his birthday
at
Charles B. Cheddar's. Nothing beats the combination of
rats and pizza.
Sarah won't smile for the Care Bear. She's too upset
that Jenny left her. But she soon finds new love.
Time to play Pin the Beard on House.
Betsy arrives unexpectedly. She was on the Evite.
Not who Mystere wanted. He wants Davy Jones!
And HOUSE's Dr. Cameron! And Ryan Gosling!
A birthday wish from RYAN GOSLING! And a plea for Mystere
to give him his dog back.
This fight is not what it looks like.
Oh my gosh - it's Jennifer Morrison! Dr. Cameron from
HOUSE!
Jennifer soon falls for Mystere. But complications arise.
Turns out this is not a love to dye for... Click
on the picture to watch this scene!
Captain Jeeves (Troy Blendell) and Mystere's
military father - The Admiral (Scott Leggett).
Mystere and Sarah try to convince The Admiral they're still
married, so they can get his military health insurance for the
baby.
When Sarah and Cami's passion proves too
hard to resist, Troy tries to run interference.
The Admiral thought Mystere was gay - and was okay with it.
But he's just learned that Mystere is... a MAGICIAN!
Mystere proves to his father that he can TOO be a magician
by performing the MOST SPECTACULAR MAGIC SHOW EVER! Click
on the picture to watch this scene!
The Admiral is finally impressed, but still can't give his
military insurance to Mystere unless he's married.
Who here is single and willing to marry Mystere... ?
EPISODE
TWENTY (10/13/07)
" 'Til Death! "
The Justice of the Peace (Troy Blendell) smells something fishy.
Sarah's ex, Jenny (Rachel Greene) - now inexplicably
British - returns, and makes a play for Sarah. A
catfight breaks out between Sarah and Cami that we
don't have any photos of. Nope. Sorry. And
then Jenny and Cami run off together.
Mystere's heterosexuality is exposed in front of
the Justice of the Peace when Sascha spills
some wine on her chest, and asks Mystere
to help her clean it up. He's been INNED!
EPISODE
TWENTY-ONE (10/20/07)
"Playing Doctor"
Mystere catches the croupe from his child,
and visits homeopathic Dr. Casa (Fleur Phillips).
Mystere has built a Gosbot.
Mr. Norman mistakes Troy and Mystere for terrorists...
...and has them arrested.
EPISODE
TWENTY-TWO (10/27/07)
"The Prisoner"
Troy visits Mystere at the Jimmy Carter Memorial
Minimum Security Penitentiary and Stamp-Making Facility.
He was found innocent of terrorism - but tried to get
back into California with unauthorized fruit in his trunk.
So long as Mystere has his poster
of Ryan Gosling, he's a-okay.
Mystere has a new - and very, VERY
devoted - friend in Phillips (Matthew Tyler). Click
on the picture to watch this scene!
Cami happens to be there; Mr. Norman hits
on her hot friend Suzi Q (Anthony Backman).
Write your own caption.
Mystere and Troy planned a Prison Break,
but he copied the wrong map. Oops. Click
on the picture to watch this scene!
When Warden Robbins (Bryan Krasner) mocks Mystere's
magic powers, he gives a spectacular magic show...
at the end of which he vanishes into thin air!
(Or maybe just out the hole he dug behind his GosPoster.) Click
on the picture to watch this scene!
Phillips is heartbroken that Mystere has
left him behind - and swears revenge.
EPISODE
TWENTY-THREE (11/3/07)
"Cape Miz"
Phillips prepares to exact his revenge.
Agent Jack (Scott Leggett) prepares Mystere, Sarah and Mr.
Norman
for their new identities in the federal protection plan:
John and Suzie Hitler, and "Mr. Furley."
And the Gosbot will hencefore be known as "Mark Wahlberg."
Mystere is disgusted at the thought
of having to sleep with his wife.
Phillips sneaks up from behind... (And then there's a whole
scene where Mystere blithely walks away and Phillips befriends
Nr. Norman, but c'mon, let's cut to the chase, right?
Besides,
I've been updating this website all day and I'm tired.)
Mystere musically dies in a repentant Phillips' arms. Click
on the picture to watch this scene!
EPISODE
TWENTY-FOUR (12/1/07)
"A Christmystere Carol"
Mystere arrives in Purgatory, and asks to
claim his Heavenly reward of 40 virgins.
But it's not
quite Mystere's time. He's in a coma, not dead yet.
He could go back... but would anybody care?
Troy grieves... until he finds out he'll be footing Mystere's
hospital bill.
Then he joins the rest in advocating pulling the plug.
A panicked Mystere futilely tries to possess Mr. Norman.
Mystere meets the Big G himself (C.M. Gonzalez). Click
on the picture to watch this scene!
Mystere spends a tender (and familiar-looking) moment
with the only person on Earth who truly misses him. Click
on the picture to watch this scene!
EPISODE
TWENTY-FIVE (12/8/07)
"A Christmystere Carol 2: It's a Wonderful Wife"
God assigns Houdini (Troy Blendell) to show Mystere his past.
Mystere's dissapointed - he wanted Criss Angel: Mindfreak.
1996: In college, Mystere convinces Troy to drop
his major in Economics - and sell all his Google stock.
Young Mr. Norman - the coolest R.A. on campus... until Mystere
reports him
to campus authorities and he becomes more authoritative... plus
Mystere
gifts him with a polyester suit, which he's allergic to - it
gives him a sniffle.
Troy and Sarah were dating back then.
Mystere meets Sarah's friend Michelle (Jenna Fischer), who is
about
to enter the nunnery, and it's love at first (or at least
second) sight.
Mystere remembers Michelle's best qualities. Click
on the picture to watch this scene!
They are so very in love... but Mystere manages to blow it.
Again. Click
on the picture to watch this scene!
Who's that freshman passing through who Mystere is
taking out his frustration on? It's Betsy Darque!
And just to top off a horrid day, Mystere badgers Sarah into
going
out with him - and Troy into saying he just considers her
a
friend anyway. All lives now fully ruined. Classic
Mystere!
EPISODE TWENTY-SIX (12/15/07)
"A Christmystere Carol 3: Father of the Bride"
With Mystere still in a coma, all his friends and family hold a
vigil as they wait for news from Dr. Casita (Rachel Greene).
Mystere's Ghost of Christmas Future is none other
than... Doug Henning (Jaime Andrews)! Thankyew!
In the future, Troy and Sarah are happily married,
they have a brilliant, Oxford-bound son (Andrew Bentler),
and the Admiral is President of the United States.
Mystere is proud to see little Blain Gosling Mindfreak (Dawn
Stahlak)
all grown up, insulting people and being generally bratty.
He approves.
But what's this? She's dating Phillips! And running
off with him
to work for a non-profit that studies global warming!
NOOOOOO!
This future must not come to be! Mystere pleads
for his life so he can bring up Blaine properly!
Out of his coma and alive again! It's a Christmas miracle!
(Troy and Sarah's future child was gonna cure cancer,
but he'll never be born now. Oh well. Classic
Mystere!)
EPISODE TWENTY-SEVEN (1/26/08)
"Surprise!"
Yaaaaaay! It's Jodie (Supatra Hanna) and
she'll be your party planner yaaaaaay!
See, Sarah and Troy are planning a surprise "Welcome Back To
Life" party for Mystere, so when he comes home early,
Jodie pretends to be the curator of the Ryan Gosling
museum. Mystere wants to submit his macaroni Gosling.
Mystere and Mr. Norman waste no time in offending Jodie.
Troy practices his fingering to play Mystere's favorite
song at the party. Of course, Mystere overhears and
assumes there's an affair going on behind his back.
Mystere admits that he was utterly and totally wrong.
Classic Mystere!
EPISODE TWENTY-EIGHT (2/2/08)
"The Haunting"
A Priest (Dan Etheridge) is called in... something came back
with Mystere from the afterlife and needs to be exorcised.
It's Doug Henning!
An incantation is performed to make Henning
tell the truth about where he came from...
...but it backfires when Troy admits he found "The Notebook"
to be predictable and derivative. Mystere punishes him
for his heresy by locking him in the GosClos.
When Betsy Darque drops by, Doug Henning decides to haunt
her instead - she's a MUCH better magician than Mystere!
EPISODE TWENTY-NINE (2/9/08)
"Table For Two"
With Mystere away at GosCon, Sarah
prepares for a romantic dinner with Troy.
However, Mystere comes home early - Ryan Gosling didn't show
up, and they got Mark Wahlberg to appear instead - just as Sarah
is handing little Blaine over to May (Natasha Norman), the
babysitter.
May agrees to sleep with Mr. Norman -
because it'll really piss off her parents.
And kids love to go antiquing these days!
Once they're gone, Mystere starts to come on to Sarah
with all the tender romance that characterized their marriage.
A misunderstanding regarding a shower curtain has
Troy and Mr. Norman believing that Mystere and
Sarah really are getting back together. Troy runs off
before Sarah admits her affair to Mystere.
The above two plot points.
But it's too late. Mr. Norman finds a tear-stained
note from Troy saying he's gone away forever and
hopes Mystere and Sarah will be very happy together.
Mr. Norman attempts to comfort Sarah.
EPISODE THIRTY (2/16/08)
"A Doctor in the House"
It turns out that Troy fell down the stairs when he was running
out of the
house and is not, in fact, gone forever. Sarah takes him to the
hospital,
where he is treated by Dr. Hacienda (Supatra Hanna).
Mystere wastes no time aggravating Dr. Hacienda by insisting
that she must be a nurse and demanding to see Dr. House.
Mystere
expounds upon a movie he saw about the health care system.
Examining
Troy.
Mr. Norman
shows up and hits on the doctor.
Troy's x-rays show a possibly fatal tumor.
Dr. Hacienda is sure gonna miss Troy - when he's
discharged. He's fine! The "tumor" was just his
hair!
Wacky misunderstandings.
Convinced Dr. Hacienda has an addition to vicodin just like Dr.
House,
he grabs away the pills she's about to take. But it turns
out they're
nitroglycerin pills - she has a heart condition. What a
wacky conundrum!
EPISODE THIRTY-ONE (2/23/08) "It's Mystere" Will Not Be Seen This Week...
The Usher (JJ Mayes) and Sarah wonder where Mystere is.
It turns out that lead actor Joe Fria can't be
at the show this week, as he has fallen ill... - Photo by Peter Alton -
...so we can't bring you the show we normally bring you... - Slide by Brian Wallis -
...which this week was to be set at a Ryan Gosling marathon. - Slide by Brian Wallis -
So instead we bring you...
- Slide by Brian Wallis -
The Big
Opening Number!
The Doug Henning Happy Happy Rainbow Unicorn Singers of
Imagination and Magical Inspiration!
Aloha (Kelsey Wedeen), Carl (Andrew Bentler) and Darla (Supatra
Hanna)
Sycophantic sidekick Reggie (Richard Levinson).
Triumphant - and wrong. Henning picks the wrong card.
Oscar nominees Alan Arkin (Scott Thewes) and Javier Bardem
(David LM McIntyre)
Alan Arkin
and Javier Bardem do that classic comedy routine, "Who's On First?"
Angelina Jolie (Andrea Walker) denies being pregnant.
Christopher Walken (Michael Rayner) drops by to do some magic
with his friend Sly Stallone, balance
a vacuum cleaner on his chin and successfully complete the card
trick that Doug screwed up earlier.
Doug Henning & Co. bid us farewell.
And so Darque Magick was voted out after 31 episodes, just
because none of the lead actors could be there that week.
What a wacky conundrum. Classic Mystere! - Photo by Peter Alton -
