SUMMARY:  Peter tells the exceedingly odd story of himself and his friend Marian, a story that involves whimsy, a sentient light cluster, accidental death and terrible danger.

Video by Annette Fasone ~ Photos by Aaron Francis

SUMMARY:  Marian auditions for a PSA directed by Godzilla (with whom she falls a little bit in love, much to the concern of her spouse, the sentient light cluster) and assistant directed by Mothra.  Peter makes a big sacrifice to get her the role (and himself some cake, which Mr. Montabello is determined not to let him have), but in the end, despite running from the audition in tears due to a douchebag of a scene partner, she earns the herself from a sympathetic Godzilla.  In the end, Mr. Montabello, who has been shooting his own PSA, explains this week's theme: always clean the microwave.

Photos by Travis Snyder-Eaton

SUMMARY:  Mr. Montabello is in love with Marian, so he invites her to dinner, and is crushed when she brings her spouse.  To save face, he hires Tiffany, a hooker, to be his date.  Peter is also at the dinner with his wife, the famous movie star Jamie, whose stardom came with a curse: Peter.  We learn that Peter once interviewed for a job killing werewolves on the moon, but he flubbed the interview so badly that the werewolves got away... and one of them is here tonight, thus making Peter responsible once more for a tragedy in Mr. Montabello's life.

Photos by Aaron Francis

SUMMARY:  Marian and Peter pretend to be sick to get out of work at Vague Industries - it's a beautiful day, and there's a 24% chance of a hurricane.  The friends pick up their always-sick friend Winston, and then pick up his crush, Sloan Peterson, after prank calling their boss, Mr. Montabello, tricking him into thinking Sloan's father has been taken captive by terrorists. Their antics over the course of the day are a shorthand and twisted version of the events of Ferris Beuller's Day Off.  In the end, when Mr. Montabello corners Peter, a hurricane tries and fails to spirit him away, but instead spirits Mr. Montabello away when Peter proves too heavy to lift.  In the end, the moral is that when you have to write a new script for Serial Killers at 3am on a Friday 'cause you couldn't do the script you originally wrote, these are the sort of fun hijinks you can expect.

Photos by Aaron Francis

SUMMARY:  It's time for Vague Industries' annual karaoke night they do to stave off unionization.  Peter and Marian just want to have fun with it, but the mean people at work are overcompetitive, and they summon the ghosts of Freddie Mercury and Andy Kaufman to gain an unfair advantage.  Mr. Montabello can't sing, and wishes it was a dance competition so he could show them all, and win Marian and Tiffany's hearts... but even in his fantasies, he can't win.  Peter's famous wife Jamie sings, and Peter is thrilled to hear she needs him - until she said she just needs him to sell t-shirts.  After a rousing number in which Jamie is backed by her friends Adele and Avril Lavigne (after Freddie Mercury declines to sing because he sung already and Rick Astley has to leave to go work his shift at Subway), we find that Peter has run away to Washington, DC to visit the Lincoln Memorial, the place he always goes when he's sad, "Because the only thing sadder than me right now is Abraham Lincoln, our 300th president, who was turned to stone by a Medusa while he was trying to remember something."  Marian and Avril Lavigne find him - he's been missing eight months, because he ran all the way from Los Angeles to Washington.  He says he feels like a dusty old Grape Crush that isn't anybody's first choice, but they reassure him that everybody feels that way sometimes.  And then Winston arrives to close out the evening with a song about Grape Crush.

Photos by Joshua Benton

SUMMARY:  Peter visits his family, the Fluents, and his twin sister Monica, who looks nothing like him.  Monica and Mr. Montabello bond over their mutual disgust with Peter, and soon are engaged in a passionate love affair.  Meanwhile, Marian is offered a promotion to another department... but if she takes it, she'll no longer be working with Peter.

Photos by Travis Snyder-Eaton

SUMMARY:  As Marian contemplates her promotion, she reminisces about how she met Peter.  In a story that is in no way reminiscent of The Help, we learn that Peter was originally cared for by his elderly and cancer-stricken co-worker, Ava.  When Marian was hired, the dying Eva asked Marian to take good care of her "giant man-baby."  And so Marian did...

Photos by Aaron Francis

SUMMARY:  When Peter's parents reveal to him that his sister Monica was adopted - and that they adopted her just so that they could make him feel special by favoring him over her - Peter decides to make things right with his sister.  However, Monica is on a hot 'n' heavy date with Mr. Montabello, and they've been making out all night.  They've just gotten home and are en route to the bedroom when Peter, who thinks Monica and Mr. Montabello are just really good friends, surprises them.  Though the news that she's not related to Peter is initially gratifying, Peter has gone an extra step: he's hired a private detective to find Monica's true family... and it turns out that Mr. Montabello is actually Monica's brother.  As the incestuously star-crossed pair recoil from each other and a horror from which they may never be able to cleanse themselves, Peter congratulates himself on what a wonderful thing he's done.

Photos by Aaron Francis

SUMMARY:  Peter is annoyed with his new killjoy co-worker, Scott... but he soon becomes The Winter Peter, and begins killing people.  And so Nick Furious and Black Widow recruit Marian and convince her to become Captain Amarian once more - an identity she's renounced for years - to help fight the Winter Peter.  The Winter Peter was created by Taylor Swift and Winston, who are members of H.Y.D.R.O.X., a secret cabal dedicated to spreading chaos... and promoting the superiority of the Hydrox cookie over the Oreo.  HAIL H.Y.D.R.O.X.!  And so Peter, Marian and Montabello find themselves trapped in a room with a Gamma Bomb about to go off...

Photos by Joseling Jolieth

SUMMARY:  Mr. Montabello has the best day ever - Marian confesses a crush on him, and Peter is dying painfully and quickly.  But it's just a dream to help him forget he's about to die when the Gamma Bomb goes off.  Peter hypnotizes Marian to make her leave the room, and her escape impedes Mr. Montabello's.  Peter "sort of" defuses the bomb, which doesn't explode, but instead "harmlessly" leaks massive amounts of gamma radiation.  Meanwhile, Black Widow arrives at the lair of H.Y.D.R.O.X. to kick some ass, but Taylor Swift reveals that they didn't really want to kill Marian and Peter... they actually want to heal Marian and Peter's friendship.  They rush off to try to save Marian and Peter from the bomb, only to discover that the gamma radiation has temporarily turned Peter into a handsome and superintelligent man, while Mr. Montabello now has leukemia... and as if that weren't enough, the radiation also transforms him into a woman.

Photos by Joseling Jolieth

SUMMARY:  Peter just wants to tell a simple story of two friends and a dog who says "I love you," but a cornucopia of characters, including The Witch Queen of Altadena, Avril Lavigne, Congressman House of Cards and the time-traveling Doctor and his companion Monica keep bogging the whole thing down in plot... confusing, confusing plot.

Photos by Aaron Francis

SUMMARY:  Mr. Montabello has become part of the Tight, Tight, Pants Thursday Club who sing Maroon 5 around the water cooler every Thursday. Peter wants to join the club and is willing to show everyone how uncool Mr. Montabello is to do it. The more level-headed Marian pleads for him to use his consience before going forward with such a rash act. Peter has never used his consience before, and it's represented by Littlefinger from Game of Thrones, who wants him to take over Vague Industries, and Karen Carpenter, who wants him to eat. Tight, Tight, Pants Thursday Club is poisoned and their death is blamed on Montabello, who then has to fight The Mountain - a small but mighty woman. Cut to: the time-traveling Doctor and Monica arrive five years in the future, a bleak landscape where a now-evil Peter - having abandoned his promise to not indulge in any complicated plot - has taken over Vague Industries.

Photos by Aaron Francis

SUMMARY:  Peter once again affirms that he won't be dropping you into the middle of a complicated plot.  Peter and Marian decide to take a break, but what kind of break should they take?  First, they try a Dramatic Break, watching a DVD that was delivered to Mr. Montabello containing a morose flashback of his father giving him up and then committing suicide.  Discomfited, they try a Point Break instead, and enjoy a bit of Keanu-style action.  Suddenly, the Doctor and Monica arrive in the TARDIS; the Doctor is concerned as the collapse of the Universe seems to have started right in this place and time.  Monica and Mr. Montabello have an awkward reunion, and Monica turns down his offer to go to a concert.  As the Doctor angles for the tickets, Peter steals the TARDIS, goes back in time, becomes D.B. Cooper (look it up on the internet), and returns to the present... where he and everyone else is immediately arrested, as the cops know somebody there is D.B. Cooper but they're not sure who.  The woman are quickly released, and the Doctor is also released as they don't have the rights to use him.  Peter's lawyer is Young Abraham Lincoln, who successfully gains Peter his freedom; in the process, the judge also rules against women's contraception, just because.  Mr. Montabello is suspected of terrorism because the flashback DVD was downloaded from an illegal torrent from "Syria-Iran-Syria," but like Andy in "The Shawshank Redemption," he digs his way to freedom, just in time to go to the concert with everyone.  It's a happy ending... but suddenly, the Doctor is discomfited.  "This isn't right!" he exclaims.  WHEW.  LUCKY WE'RE NOT DROPPING YOU INTO THE MIDDLE OF A COMPLICATED PLOT OR ANYTHING.

Photos by Aaron Francis

SUMMARY:  A trio of new characters, Teri, Kelly and Hazel, try to take over the story. When Vague Industries is sold to The Specific Company, Mr. Montabello takes a new job running a pizza place with the perky trio, creating a spinoff that the Doctor and Monica warn Peter will be the undoing of the universe. But when Peter is unable to prevent the spinoff from happening, events spiral out of control. As they do.

Photos by Joseling Jolieth